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I find I am (sub)consciously keeping myself from thinking deeply about what moving away from here really means. I think about the practical details of it: training my replacement, winnowing down our personal stuff, wrapping up Evan’s details, etc.

Keeping my thoughts focused on the more inanimate details is a form of protections. It’s a type of blindness that prevents me from seeing all the amazing friends I have here.

Which is better? Should I save the inevitable pain and sadness for the very end or should I start feeling that pain now, six months before we leave?

I’ve written here in earlier posts about how there are small sadnesses in daily events. That still happens but it seems my emotions only really get me when I am having my semi-weekly lunch with my best friend Patty. I found myself crying on the way to lunch a couple of weeks ago, thinking about how much I am going to miss our lunches.

As I was writing this my friend Roger came by my office to tell me how the reality of our move is really hitting him. (He and my husband are very close.) We talked about the sad-now-or-later thing. He said he was sad now.

So, dear reader, what is you preference in the now-or-later debate going on in my head? Any and all advice is welcome.

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3 responses »

  1. I think you have to find a balance. We only knew for about a month that we would be leaving our home of twenty years. We didn’t have time to even be sad. (or to really say farewell to anyone). As a result, all that sadness hit me later. And it was pretty hard to process that sadness with all the emotions of being in a new place and trying to make new friends. So, I’d say take the sadness out and let it have its way with you now and then. Allow your heart and your head to feel it. Then, push it back a little so you can savor the time you have left here. That’s just what I think I’d have done if I’d had the time 🙂

  2. Is no sadness at all an option? Because that’s my pick.

    On a more realistic note, I’d definitely take Mom’s advice. I’m always a fan of embracing the emotion at hand so you don’t miss whatever it’s trying to teach you.

  3. How did I miss this post? The joy/ache of it all. I’m with the girls, embrace the emotions! Having been both the one leaving and the one staying put I will say that though it is wonderful and necessary to get super excited about your future (and your wonderful friends be thrilled for you, though they’ll miss you) it is important for those you leave behind to see the ache in your joy too. Know what I mean? I doubt you guys are having THAT problem though. Everyone knows you’ll miss us all like crazy. 🙂

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