On Sunday my friend Shelly asked me if I was excited about moving back to California. My response, “Well, sorta.” was a bit confusing probably. Since we don’t have a set date to leave, or even a set city, (although that is narrowed down to two) that part of the excitement will happen later.
I was excited when the decision was first made. Crazy, over-the-moon, excited. Can’t eat or sleep excited. Then as the weeks went by, that feeling faded. As my pastor. Tom, put it, the honeymoon phase is over and now comes the walking out part of the decision.
When Harold and I got married we went to Hawaii on our honeymoon. It was more beautiful than I had imagined. The colors were deeper, richer, brighter than anything I’d ever seen before. We made beautiful memories and had a blast for 10 days. Then we came home and went about the mundane things that life is really made of. We went to work, fussed about our budget, and began the decades long task of rubbing the rough spots off our relationship. We still had a blast (most of the time) and loved each other like crazy. The difference was the Hawaii moments were fewer and further between.
That is how I feel now. There are 20 years of accumulated living in this house. We have lots of things to sort, toss, sell, or keep. Doing that will take some time and we’ll probably be finished right before the move date ! Do I get curl-my-toes excited still? Yes! But there is always a twinge of sadness mixed with the excitement as I will be leaving behind a community of wonderful, supportive and loving people who I’ve been with for a long time.
Thrilled? Sometimes. Sad? Sometimes. In transition? Always!